By a Financial Advisor Who’s Walked This Road with Clients (and Friends)
Let’s be Honest—This Probably Isn’t What You Pictured.
Maybe it’s been a slow unravel. Maybe it hit you like a sucker punch on a regular Tuesday. Either way, if you’re facing divorce, you’re likely feeling a mix of emotions—and fear about money is usually high on the list.
As a financial advisor, I’ve walked this road with many women. Not just analyzing spreadsheets but helping them steady themselves when life tilted sideways. The truth is, money touches everything—your housing, your independence, your peace of mind. So, let’s talk about how to protect yourself and start building your next chapter.
Step One: Get Clear on What You Have
This part may feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve never been the “numbers person” in the relationship. But you don’t need a finance degree—you just need to start gathering the facts.
What to look for:
- Checking and savings account statements
- Credit card balances
- Mortgage and car loan info
- Tax returns (two years is a good start)
- Retirement accounts, pensions, investments
- Insurance policies (health, life, etc.)
- Any business interests, assets, or debts
And remember: if it was acquired during the marriage, it likely counts as marital property—even if it’s only in your spouse’s name. That goes for assets and debts.
Build a Private Safety Net—If It’s Safe
I’m not encouraging secrets. I’m encouraging strategy.
If you're in a safe situation, quietly opening a bank account in your name and starting to set aside money can provide much needed breathing room. Divorce comes with expenses: legal fees, new living arrangements, Target runs for things you suddenly don’t own anymore.
But if your situation involves control, threats, or abuse—this part looks different. Your safety comes first. Please contact a domestic violence advocate or legal aid service in your area. They can help you plan a safe exit.
Guard Your Credit Like It’s Gold
Credit might not seem urgent—until you’re trying to get an apartment, car, or utilities in your name.
Start by:
- Pulling your credit report (free at many online credit report sites)
- Flagging and monitoring joint accounts
- Closing or freezing shared credit cards if you can
- Watching for unusual spending or changes
If you're worried about retaliation or reckless behavior, a temporary credit freeze can help prevent unauthorized borrowing.
Make a Post-Divorce Budget—Even If You Hate Budgeting
Look, budgeting doesn’t need to be color-coded or complicated. But you do need a realistic look at your future expenses and income.
Start with:
- Housing (rent, mortgage, utilities)
- Healthcare costs (especially if you’re losing coverage)
- Kids’ expenses (school, childcare, extracurriculars)
- Transportation, food, insurance, debt payments
- Any anticipated legal or transitional costs
Will your current income cover it all? If not, this is where you can explore support, career changes, or upskilling. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s clarity.
Build Your Team (It’s Not Just a Lawyer)
Even the friendliest divorces can take a turn, so having the right people in your corner is key. That might include:
- A divorce attorney—ideally someone experienced in your specific situation
- A financial advisor who understands how divorce impacts long-term planning
- A therapist, coach, or support group who helps you stay grounded
Don’t try to be everything at once. Let the experts guide you where they’re needed.
Don’t Let “I Just Want This Over” Cost You Long-Term
There’s always a point in divorce where fatigue sets in. You might be tempted to sign away everything just to be done.
Pause.
Some of the most important assets aren’t liquid: retirement funds, pensions, home equity, even stock options. Think about what life will look like 5, 10, 20 years from now. Your future self deserves a seat at the table too.
And yes, this stuff can feel cold when your emotions are raw. Butmoney isn’t just math—it’s freedom, security, and choice.
One Last Thing: You’re Not Starting Over. You’re Rebuilding.
Divorce can feel like failure. But from where I sit—watching women reclaim their financial lives and rebuild on solid ground—I've seen this: it’s not the end.
It’s a reset. A re-route. A chance to make choices for you.
Stack the receipts. Ask the questions. Open the account. And if you need someone in your corner who gets it? I’m here—not just with financial advice, but with real-life guidance from someone who’s walked beside others through it all.
You’ve got this.
Ready to learn more? Get started by
requesting a complimentary initial consultation whenever it’s convenient for you.
Read more articles by Jeremy Carver